The men watch while the women dance.

Danish men are very pleasant, and perfectly willing to do half of the housework, but these charming traits seem to be linked to a low testosterone level. Women do most of the calling for dates, and are even required to ask the men to dance at nightclubs. You'll often find a Danish disco full of women dancing alone, watched from the sidelines by lonely, passion-filled men, terrified behind stiff smiles as their eyes send out invisible out rays of desire: Please, Miss, ask me to dance.

Fortunately, there is a mitigating factor, and that is alcohol. Generally, you can count on Danish men at any given gathering to be moody and silent for the first couple of hours, or at least untll the first rounds of Tuborg kick in. At that time, around the third hour, they are become friendly and sweet, with a slight tendancy to tell their life stories to strangers. (I once thought that this life story business indicated a man's desire to date me; sadly, it indicates only a desire to tell me his life story.) By hours four, five, and six, they are sloppy drunk and interested only, as the Danish term goes, in "scorer damen."

If the women, who have also had plenty of beer by this time, are willing, new couples depart to whomever's apartment is closest. The next morning, they decide if they would like to see more of each other.

Suffice to say that if alcohol disappeared tomorrow, the Danes would never reproduce.

Continue